Every Indian television show depicts the story of a young man caught between his mother and his wife. It’s a triangle, of sorts. I’d advise you to follow no one. But the number of people suggesting you pick a side would probably suppress my voice.

One group will tell you to pick the woman who carried you for nine months and who made the man you are today. And another group would call you a mama’s boy and tell you to pick the woman you’re bound to spend your life with. The third and ignored group (like me) will advise you to be diplomatic.

If you’re a member of a joint family, you might have faced a lot of emotional strain. If you’ve been a caring son and a loving husband, chances are that you’ll be caught in the crossfire. In situations like these, you’re the focal point of venting off emotions.

1. Be Empathetic

This is an overly-emotional situation. And you have to consider both their viewpoints. One woman has left her own home to build a life with you while the other woman is seeing her household change. To diffuse the situation you have to listen to both of them.

2. Plan beforehand

Try involving your soon-to-be wife in family issues that you think she can handle. Get to know her and how she would cope with you and your family. If you’re planning to live with your parents then this is necessary. If not, then you should go over the rules when they come to stay over. Try to get the two most important women in your life get acquainted with each other. It would save you a lot of time and energy later.

3. Discourage whining about the other

You might find staying neutral is tough but a lot better than the other option. If you pick sides or try to appease one of them, then you’ll be the first one to lose their patience. If you feel like it, then excuse yourself from the situation completely.

4. Spend some quality time with your mother

If your mother has been micromanaging your newly-married life and that’s triggering your partner, then maybe you are the one at fault here. You should try spending more time with her. But, while you’re at it, don’t complain about your wife. That’s a classic dick move. Instead, show her how much you love and appreciate her. Talk about the new television serial she has started watching.

5. Stay neutral

When the cat-fight is at its pinnacle tell them to woman up and deal with their issues on their own. Instead of picking sides, this stance will give you the upper hand; you cannot be blamed after for your views or suggestions.

It’s okay to not pick your mother’s or your wife’s side during a battle. And it’s completely okay if you don’t listen to the biased suggestions of your neighbours and friends. What’s important is that you walk out of the situation keeping your integrity intact. More so because you don’t want to be the focal point of their whining.

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