It’s not easy getting arranged married to someone you have no idea about. Yet it’s not someone unseen or unheard of. And it’s not always about how young people and their opinions are suppressed. But it’s more about how some people are entangled in their work routine, they do not want to get involved in relationships before their marriage.
The one problem is you do not know the person. You only know what they want you to know. Or what they want their neighbours to tell you. They can be lying to your very face. Quora is filled with such stories on how they were scammed. Some are way too weird to even be true. But it’s possible.
Here are some questions which I have gathered from various Quora users to help you get to know your future spouse. And if they’re reluctant in answering, you know better than to marry them.
Financial Questions:
Q1. Are you in debt? How much debt are you in? Is your family in debt? After marriage, does it become shared debt?
Q2. Do you see our economy blending in with each other? Under what circumstances are we to consult each other before making a purchase?
Q3. What’s your credit card score? Are you okay with dividing the household budget?
Q4. Will we compromise our child’s (if any) education due to our economic situation?
Family Questions:
Q1. What are your career ambitions? Would you be okay if my career ambition changes? Are you okay if at times I put my work before family? Under what circumstances would it be okay?
Q2. Do you want kids? How many kids do you want? What are the options for terminating an unwanted foetus? In what faith would you bring them up – atheist or theist? Do you believe in hitting children?
Q3. Are you okay living in a joint family? On a scale of 1-10, how much faith have you put on the Indian television portrayal of the in-laws?
Q4. Would you be okay with a long-distance marriage if the situation called for it?
Q5. Are you okay with having pets? How many pets do you want? Are you a cat person or a dog person (a lot depends on this question)?
Q6. Do you believe both our parents deserve equal treatment? If no, why? If yes, how are we to take care of them when they cannot? (You can choose to listen to them explain or you can terminate the marriage.)
Lifestyle questions:
Q1. If we’re both working, how are we to divide the household chores between us?
Q2. How would you define cheating? Are you okay with me having female friends? If I am okay with you being open to your opinions regarding my friends, would you be okay with mine? Do you want me to tell you if one of your male friends is making me uncomfortable?
Q3. Are you okay with alone time? How much space do you expect to get in a relationship?
Q4. Are you fine with annual trips? Do you want frequent trips (like twice every six months) or it isn’t that big of a deal to you? What do you think our budget should be for vacations?
Miscellaneous questions:
Q1. Do you read books? Who is your favourite author? Do you have a favourite book?
Q2. What are your political views? Would you let that affect our personal life?
Q3. Do you believe in the idea of monogamy? If no, would you be okay in an open marriage? (Follow up with the second part of the question if you’re okay with having an open marriage as well.)
Read More: Here’s why I chose to be a Ghar Jamai and not think of log kya kahenge
An arranged married life can be fun as well if you have asked the right questions at the beginning. Did you expect to find questions asking if they were a virgin or not? We believe these constraints don’t apply to our society anymore. These evils are disappearing from the face of the earth. Do not worry about the number of sexual partners they’ve had in the past as long as you’re the last one. Worry about the financial and emotional condition of the house once you get married.