There was a boy in my school who used to bully everyone, everybody hated him, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by that. But when we grew up we realized that things were different at his home. He was daily abused by his toxic parents, there was no one who showed him what it means to love and take care of someone. How he behaved is what he learnt from home. Abuse kids get at home aren’t always physical, and these mental disturbances have worse effects on their character. And if you have been through something similar, not worry you are not alone, we are here for you. Here are 5 signs that show that your parents are toxic.
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1. You have emotional outbursts frequently
When your emotions are neglected at home and you bottle them up and don’t know how to express yourselves, there comes a time when its hard to control them. Your emotional outbursts can be due to some reason or many times without a reason. It is because you tired of keeping it inside, keeping it altogether.
2. You either overly loving or hate everyone else
You make up for the emotion by either being the same way or acting the opposite way. Some people super kind to others even the strangers whom they have never known because they don’t want anyone else to suffer the way they do. Some on the other hand act hostile and bully others because they have to vent out somewhere. All their life they only seen violence, physical or mental abuse, so this comes to their rescue naturally.
3. You are under confident
You don’t exactly know who you are, you find it difficult to describe yourself or your ideas to people. Opening up is one of the most difficult task. They lack simple social skills. And you are very pessimistic about everything, because your parents have always criticized you, you have never been appreciated. And all your life you have been dependent on them. So you are not confident about anything.
4. You repress your emotions
Whenever you tried to show your emotions it never turned out to be good, you have always faced backlash. You are so afraid of your parents that you have often closed your room and closed your mouths forcefully with your mouth so that no one hear you crying. Many times kids are also not able to cry, because they have forgotten the fact that it is okay to cry. Bottling up your feelings seems a good hideaway.
5. They guilt trip you a lot
Parents often account kids guilty of literally every thing. Kids tend to think that everything is their fault, whatever bad has happened is because of them. They emotionally blackmail you. You are scared to say no to them. “Don’t you love me? Then why do you keep doing this to me?” is common phrase you hear.
6. You anyhow want to best in everything
Since your parents have always compared you to others and have always pressurized to be the best in everything. They everything into competition. For them kids some kind of trophy. So there is always a huge pressure on you to be the best in everything and since one person how much ever they try can’t be good at everything. You at times forget about the good and bad. It’s about winning the thing anyhow, and anyhow means anyhow. You don’t enjoy the participation, its either relief that thank god you won or fear that you didn’t win now how will you face your parents.
I know we grew up in a society where we were taught that if there is someone who will love us unconditionally they are our parents. Trust me, it’s okay if your parents aren’t that way. It is not your fault. You are not a disappointment, you are not what they want you be and most importantly even though you have their blood you are their child, you are not them. You are what you dream of becoming, you deserved to be loved unconditionally and you are worth everything, never let anyone tell you otherwise.
One day you find someone who will understand you and your vulnerability and when you have kids in the future you will give them the love and care they deserve and they will be very thankful they have you as their parent. And one day when your kid will come to you and tell you that you are the best you will realize that it was worth it. Till then get to know yourself and stand up for yourself.
This article was about Signs That Show That Your Parents Are Toxic. Thanks for reading, hope you have a god day. and if you wanna read about how to make small talk with your relatives.