Feminism is a movement focusing on the upliftment of women who have been oppressed for a very long time. But as time progresses, many other truths have come to light. The word ‘toxic masculinity’ has been garnered by many media houses. But they haven’t received much attention.
Feminism has received worldwide acclaim due to the atrocities and crimes still committed against women. Also because of the continued existence of pseudo-feminists or more commonly known as ‘feminazis’. They claim that matriarchy is the way of living and all men are useless.
What is ‘Toxic Masculinity’?
It can be defined as traditional gender roles that men and boys are expected to follow. Thus, curbing their freedom to express emotions.
You might be thinking – ‘I am a well-settled man with complete control over my emotions and desires.’ I have witnessed myself being compared to a boy. On several occasions, my relatives have exclaimed how I have become naughty like a boy.
What are Gender Roles?
Once, in your entire childhood, you have heard someone say ‘Boys don’t cry’ or ‘Men don’t cry.’ And often you have seen your sister or female friend play with miniature versions of kitchen utensils, while you had a football. I have observed how men are at times disregarded because they’re too feminine. Men like that are ridiculed for their lifestyle choices; they are not taken seriously.
Keeping all these aside, men are expected to always shield a woman from mishappenings, have a body equivalent to that of Amir Khan in Ghajini, treat his lady with red roses and caramel filled chocolates every day. As far-fetched as it sounds, that is the truth. And sadly, this has resulted in the birth of male and female chauvinists. They are two distinct groups each showing prejudiced support for their particular gender.
The former yells how pointless the entire movement has become, while the latter yells how men are chauvinistic pigs. There exist shallow and hypocritical men and women.
These gender roles have laid the foundation to the arising of unrealistic expectations in relationships.
1. A hint of feminine touch in your home
When we see movies where a man takes a woman to his apartment, and she instantly chirps with the comment, “Your place could really use some feminine touch.” What writers want to depict is the woman hinting on leaving her touch in his room. And what should be a classic flirt move comes off as really sexist.
Because firstly, it is his room and he can have a pink carpet or blue curtains or just a mattress lying around. And secondly, I wouldn’t want a man to enter my room and exclaim how girly or tomboyish it is. The next time someone says that to you, you can tell them off by saying how everything does not revolve around them. Unless of course, you’re just too dirty, like the woman whom Ross dated for a brief while.
2. Averting your gaze from other women
Let’s admit it, we all do it irrespective of our gender. Unless we have had our fair share of men and women. But even then, we find ourselves drooling over a good-looking celebrity with devilish charms. It’s common for women in a relationship to drool over Ranbir Kapoor, Ranvir Singh, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling to name a few.
But the moment, they find their significant other gazing at a magazine cover portraying Katrina Kaif, Sunny Leone, or Alia Bhatt, it’s time to go to war. This kind of behaviour often results in the man dissenting the woman. Thus, gradually the effects of romance and love wear off. Unless of course, you are a pervert and just like checking out other people while being in a committed relationship.
3. Unconditional Love
The term “Unconditional Love” has aroused different expectations in women, expectations hard to live by. They want a man who will shower her with love all the time instead of focusing on his career or education. Yes, we all need love. But unconditional love is different than being completely ignored for hours without no explanation.
Everyone is goal-oriented, and you love your significant other because of what they mean to you. But if they begin brewing a chaotic mixture of toxic coffee in your life, the love is bound to change.
4. “Always choose me over your friends”
There have come times when you have been forced to make a decision between hanging out with your friends and with your significant other. Unless you have made that decision on your own, then sadly you have been manipulated. No one wants to choose between the people they love.
And if you have been forced to make that decision then maybe that is not the relationship for you. People change on their own accord, but there are people who will never change and will always pose as the toxic entity in your life.
5. Protecting and paying, but also give them their financial independence
Gender roles have segregated men to always pay the bills on a date, or open the door to let a woman inside. To be honest, I always split the bills when I am on a date with my significant other. It not only ensures absolute equality but also helps us save money. On social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram, you can find several women who want nothing but a rich man but on the other hand, they are fighting against the atrocities committed against women. As applaudable the latter is, it only makes them a hypocrite.
It is only advisable for you to stay away from people who work by fuelling their brains with narrow-minded generalisations. And I am not talking about the generalisation of the zodiac signs, but about ‘Men should be the primary earning member of a family.’ It’s time we stopped weighing down the pans of a scale and focus on attaining equilibrium.
They have been subjected to accusations of only being after ‘that one thing’, wearing pink makes them look less manly, and various other humbugs. And it is only natural for men to become more frustrated as complications in their societal roles increases.
Read More: Issues Face By Men Of Today
So, it’s okay if you cannot cater to the expectations set by everyone around you. It’s not your fault but that of the society which impressed upon you and your fellow genders some roles. Thus, forgetting not everyone is the same individual. Do not let your individuality be curbed by gender roles.