Grindr is probably the most popular dating app among gay & bisexual men. By showing you the men in your vicinity who are looking to interact, Grindr has revolutionized the way gay men communicate & connect. Grindr is a blessing as well as a curse, as it’s a service that brings people closer together and helps create a community, but it can also be isolating and discriminatory for many.
Your Grindr experience is not always going to be pretty. The moment you sign up on Grindr, you will be exposed to everything that’s wrong with the community you’re looking to be part of. Gay people are always talking about how the community is victimized by the so called ‘straight’ society. But we don’t really realize how we bully each other on apps like Grindr all the time.
One way to avoid any kind of hostility on Grindr is to have the right profile. Explicitly mentioning what you’re into and what you’re not into, reduces the number of unnecessary interactions. And by being honest about yourself you can make sure that people don’t get disappointed and that their time an your’s is not wasted. This information along with the following 10 tips will help you create the perfect Grindr profile:
1. Try & Have A Profile Picture
Not every gay person is out to everyone. And you don’t have to come out unless you’re ready. But you should understand that there are no straight people on Grindr. Even if you find someone you already know, or if they find you, it goes without saying that both of you are going to keep it a secret, unless both of you are out of the closet. It can actually be a positive thing. Because now you have someone you already know as your ally within the community.
2. Provide All The Basic Information
The fields on your profile that Grindr asks you to fill are not just there for show. You should provide at least the basic information, such as your age, height, weight, body type, your preferred position & what you’re looking for. If you provide such information on your profile, you ensure that people know whether you are right for them or not and they hit you up accordingly. This saves your time as well as theirs by reducing the number of unnecessary interactions.
3. Make Sure Your Name Is Made Up Of Letters & Not Symbols
I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how to read Egyptian Hieroglyphics. Except for the upward pointing, downward pointing and double headed arrows, which indicate your preferred position as top, bottom and versatile respectively, no other symbols need to be there on your display name. And even these can be avoided as there is an entire field on your profile dedicated to that.
4. Don’t Use A Blurry Picture, Or Some Wallpaper/Random Quote As Your Profile Picture
We’re way past the 2010s, every phone that comes out nowadays has a decent, if not an almost professional camera. So, if there’s a blurry picture on your profile, everyone knows that you put it there deliberately. If you’re so concerned about maintaining your anonymity, I’d suggest you don’t use a picture at all. Because when I see someone with a blurry picture, or some wallpaper/random quote as their profile picture, it annoys the hell out of me.
5. Don’t Show Unnecessary Attitude On Your Bio
Would you say things like “If you have to think whether you’re good enough for me or not, you probably aren’t” to someone in real life? Then why do it on Grindr?
6. Make Sure Your Picture Is Consistent With Your Bio & The Rest Of Your Profile
If you’re showing off your ass, your bulge, or your bare torso in your profile picture, no one’s going to believe it if your profile says that you’re looking just for friends.
7. Mention The Physical Features You’re Particular About, But Don’t Body Shame
If your ideal guy is someone who’s at least 6 feet tall and muscular, then say so in your bio. But mention such preferences in a decent way and don’t body shame anyone who doesn’t meet your standards. You come off as a douchebag if you do that.
8. If You Have An Age Bracket, Mention It
There’s nothing wrong about being interested in guys of a particular age. Not unless that age is under 18 (or whatever the legal age in your country is). What’s wrong is not mentioning the age bracket of your preference in your bio and then saying that you’re not interested when someone outside of that bracket texts you. You’re just wasting your time as well as the other person’s.
9. Don’t Lie (Especially About Your HIV Status)
It can be really awkward and even disheartening when someone says that they’re not interested in you after you meet. It’s even worse when you’re in the middle of something (IYKWIM) and the other person says things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not feeling anything”. To avoid such situations, make sure you’re not lying in your bio & profile.
And most importantly, NEVER lie about your HIV status (or any STD for that matter). If you’re thinking that you’re going to use protection so it doesn’t matter, you’re wrong. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how you would feel if someone lied to you about their STD status. Understand that sex is best when there is honesty & communication involved.
10. Be Yourself
Know that you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to look or act a certain way to impress anyone. Whatever you’re looking for is fine, be it networking, friends, long term relationships or just a quickie. No one has the right or the authority to judge you and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
The purpose of apps like Grindr is to bring the gay community closer together. People defeat this purpose when they use this platform to propagate false standards of beauty. Having a preference is okay, but hating on people who are not in accordance with your preference, being mean to them and belittling them is not. Understand that gay people have enough trouble dealing with the so called ‘straight’ society. It would be a terrible shame if they hade to face similar shaming within the community.