Are you an introvert? Dating can be a very taxing task for almost everyone. Even for the natural Casanova, you see sitting in the bar with his arms around two females. It’s not easy to approach women and strike a fire amidst the initial proceedings of your conversation.
Being an introvert just makes it ten times more difficult. If you want to find out your personality type then go to 16personalities right now and take their test. An introvert is driven by prospects, they’ll analyze and over-analyze a situation to assure that it fits them right.
One thing they have to understand that this is more of a trial-and-error method, and you won’t be socially abandoned if you fail. This isn’t the Hunger Games of dating. You don’t have to understand the workings of someone’s mind in order to approach them. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone with whom there was an immediate spark?
But you have to remember that nothing is easy and dating is just one small step to your rise to stardom. Metaphorical stardom, that is.
1. Don’t Avoid Small Talk
For someone who is repelled by small talk, you have to first understand that that is the stepping stone to a brighter relationship, even friendship. Topics that one can discuss during the small talk session has a wide spectrum – from books to sports, from philosophy to makeup.
Just like in balancing chemical equations, this is a trial and error method. If you do not see the opposite person vibing with your interests and you aren’t vibing with their’s then it would have been a doomed relationship from the start.
So don’t fear the small talk, be an opportunist when it comes to striking up these conversations. You might learn a lot about the other person.
2. Be Open to Random/Chance Conversations
You’re at a party with your friends and while they’re off enjoying themselves on the dance floor, you’re standing in the corner drinking. Someone who is just as awkward as you might try to initiate a conversation. And you being nervous on messing it up might swat their attempts away. Don’t run away from conversations.
In doing so, you’re not only creating a negative impression of yourself but also reducing the prospect of meeting new people here.
Furthermore, if you don’t move your face away from your mobile, chances are you might be missing out on some fun people. Many people have met their spouses through random conversations at a coffee shop or grocery store.
3. Join Online Forums
Being an introvert myself, I understand the difficulty of expressing myself through verbal communication. If you feel that way too then there is always the option of joining online forums. You will not only meet like-minded people but also have a better chance of expressing yourself, your likes, and your dislikes.
4. Don’t pretend to be an extrovert, that is, someone you’re not
I tried, and I failed. Because at the end of the day, we are who we are. Instead of coaxing yourself to change, embrace your personality. You will not only end up loving yourself, but people around you will be drawn in by your self-confidence.
I have a friend who is an ambivert. His extrovert and introvert percentage are difficult to determine, but you can feel the uneasiness oozing out of him. He was set up with one girl after another but they ended up pitying him. What was the result? The entire ordeal not only hurt his pride and ego but pushed him to extreme depression.
So, never try to be someone you’re not.
5. Stand aside from the spotlight
Introverts don’t like being in the spotlight, it’s way out of their comfort zone. And you wouldn’t want to find your significant other in a situation where you’re doing pinwheels on your motorbike while trying to hide your fear beneath awkward laughing.
You’d like to find someone in your natural habitat – a coffee shop, the library, a casual stroll in the supermarket. And if you find yourself in unknown territories, then pick out one or two people and try to strike a conversation with them.
6. Prep yourself for rejections
Rejections are a part of everyone’s daily routine – from taxis to women. But introverts are really afraid of getting rejected. But you have to understand one thing, do not let your anxious nature stand as an obstacle in front of you.
Introverts need to relax. Not all rejections are personal; the other person might not know you properly. Look at what happened to all the women who dated Ted Bundy.
Read More: 10 Things A Man Should Never Tell A Woman
7. Meet people through organized hobbies
Everyone has a hobby but not everyone uses it as a medium to find their significant other. But when you’re an introvert, you need to utilize this platform. Join a swimming class or a lacrosse team, whatever gets your adrenaline rushing. You might just find your soulmate.