Greek Mythology gives us a story about a son of a god, Narcissus who killed himself because he could not obtain the object of his desire. Narcissus walked by a pool and saw his own reflection in it. He was mesmerized with what he saw and fell in love with his reflection. He killed himself after realizing he could never attain this mirror image of himself.
This story gave birth to a term called Narcissism. Narcissism is a mental condition where one has excessive admiration of oneself to the point where it destructive to them as well as the people around them. They have what you call a”holier than thou” attitude and are resentful when it’s challenged. To know how to deal with narcissistic people, you need to first know about narcissism.
The causes for most narcissistic behavior can be:
- This might sound bizarre but narcissism is mostly genetic in nature.
- Parents who always put their kids on a pedestal.
- Excessively reserved parents.
- Narcissism is generally more prominent in cultures which promote individuality and self-promotion
Social media contrary to the popular belief doesn’t cause narcissism but does provide a medium for narcissists.
Narcissism is one of those rare problems where the people surrounded the narcissistic people suffer more. Its dark side is shown in the longer run. It makes the person selfish, unethical and dishonest.
Here’s how you deal with a narcissist in a healthy way:
1Identify The Type Of Narcissist You Are Dealing With
Narcissistics are usually of two types:
a) Grandiose Narcissists
These are your type of people that first come to your mind when you hear the term narcissists. You Know, the extroverted, dominating, attention-seeking person everyone has encountered once in their lifetime. These types of narcissists pursue and power for the sole purpose of fame and status.
These types of narcissists are usually great to help if you give them an important job that they deem worthy of their “capabilities”. Also, praise their work for the best results.
b) Vulnerable Narcissists
These are people who in their minds always think they are better than everyone but are not as much outspoken. They hate the thought that someone would even try to challenge their opinion and are easily threatened due to this. They always have the victim mentality and think that the whole world is somehow against them. The sole purpose of their existence is for people to see them as the perfect beings that they are.
These types of narcissists should be constantly assured that they are doing a good job as their self-esteem is very less. Try not to offend them.
2Empathize With Them
Narcissists may lack empathy but guess what you don’t. So try to know them better in order to figure out where these thoughts are coming from. Once you do that it automatically becomes so easy to deal with them as you could avoid topics that could get them going.
Narcissists tend to say the meanest of the things but you’ll have to decide which things will get to you and which won’t. Take time out to study and evaluate yourself. This will tell you things about your nature and attitude you never knew. Figure out what vexes you, makes you uncomfortable and draw a line there.
4Be Gentle With Them
You’ll have to understand the place that they are coming from. Their behavior towards you is usually a self-portrait of themselves rather than a reaction to you. They hold a huge bundle of insecurities with them. That doesn’t mean that you’ll let them make you feel less. Always remember that your values and needs come first.
Try to find humor in their behavior to cope up with them better. But make sure to make it a healthy mocking. Try calling out their behavior by a smile or a light joke. But remember to keep humor in a place and time that it fits.
6Look On The Bright Side
Every person is different in their own regard and no one is completely “good” or “evil”. While dealing with a narcissistic you should always focus on the good qualities that they have in order to have a better relationship with them. It’s all about your perception.
7Recommend External Help
If the person you are dealing with is close to you and they have a serious narcissistic condition, recommend them to a physiotherapist. in severe cases like Narcissistic Personality Disorder consulting a physiotherapist is your best bet.
In the end, you’ll have to know that no one is just their disorder, so try to accept them for who they are but do this at without compromising your own beliefs and ideals.