Every online forum is buzzing with the sacrifices made by women after they’re married off to someone. And it is true that they make a lot of sacrifices – from leaving her parents house to changing her surname. But as the twenty-first century progresses, so has the mindset of the people.
But have you ever sat down and thought of all the unspoken and uncelebrated compromises by men? As an adult, we might have noticed that maybe our dads have compromised for the sake of his marriage and family as well. And we respect our parents for whatever decision they’ve made so far.
This article isn’t going to contain a list of all the things your father or someone you might know have done for their family. No, it is more of a heart-to-heart chat with my audience.
Here goes nothing…
Speaking from personal experience, my mother sacrificed her education because her family wanted her to get married. But my father sacrificed his family for the sake of upholding his wife and her family’s dignity. Yet no one knows about it and he doesn’t go around boasting what he did. Because at the end of the day he’ll be blamed for it.
In our country, it is a taboo to exclude one’s parents from one’s life. Even if your relationship was as toxic as the air after Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He doesn’t regret it but this has put a small amount of strain on his relationship with my mother.
Financial issues are almost always suppressed
At one point in his career, my father lost a huge sum of money. It was during the time of Durga Puja. He was suffering from clinical depression along with the frustration of having listened to someone’s uneducated banter. Yet he managed to decorate his house with fairy lights.
Irregular working pattern
When it comes to his profession, my father spends hours upon hours writing programs. Here, he is sacrificing his posterior as well as his visual health trying to put bread on the plates of his family. Whenever his mood gets irritable, we give him the benefit of the doubt saying he might be having problems with his client.
It is sometimes about the money
When I started doing internships, I couldn’t bring myself to spend the money I had earned. Eventually, I did but that is not the point. My father has spent a lot of money for my education and then for buying me and my mother new clothes while dressing himself in his early 2000 attire. Not to mention, he has funded me for all the books that I’ve bought.
Here is another story…
My parents lived in the USA for a couple of years. During that time, he had bought my mother a fur coat which she lent to her sister who returned it with all the fur gone. He even bought my mother raw perfume which she gave away to her sister. So, yes, he saw his gifts being given away to people he didn’t like. That is one of the many sacrifices he has made for my mom.
In conclusion, men not only make sacrifices as a husband after marriage but also as a father. And I am not ashamed of revealing some of the things here. Because I am proud of him and what he stands for. He might not be perfect but neither am I nor you. You come to accept one’s flaws and love them for who they are. Unless those flaws include physically abusing people.